Thursday, September 29, 2011

A Weekend Hard to Stomach

This weekend, I bottomed out. With my head in the toilet and my shaking, spent body crumpled on the cold bathroom tile, I realized I needed to give myself a break.

I got hit hard and fast with a stomach virus this weekend and I'm not very surprised. While it sucked to surrender all of my awesome weekend plans to spend quality time with a Porcelain God from 1970, I am kind of glad it happened.

Last week was stress central. My impending student loans have been hanging off my shoulders like a heavy winter coat for weeks as I keep putting them off; I tried and failed to keep my diet on track as free lunches, breakfast pastries and cookies took over the work kitchen; I hated myself with every bite I couldn't resist; and chastised myself for struggling to run 9.8 miles in preparation for the upcoming half marathon (which might have had to do with a developing stomach virus but I've been frustrated with my performance in every long run I've done in each of the last few weeks).

I was punishing myself and my body was finally fighting back. After being harshly criticized all week for eating this, not doing that, not running hard enough... without any encouragement in between, my body was pretty fed up.

Needless to say (I'll spare you the details), lesson learned. It took me a few days to keep down anything other than water, Gatorade or saltines. It's time for a fresh start and an attitude adjustment. I'm taking a break from training and have put off counting every calorie I put in my mouth until I feel 100 percent better. When I pick it back up, I'll try to go a little easier on myself.

Now that I have more energy, I guess it's time to address that heavy load that's suffocating me--my student loans. Tonight, my first night in which I did not immediately jump into bed when I got home from work, I promised myself I'd finally sort them all out. I better keep some saltines close, I have a feeling the nausea will return once I start crunching the numbers and cutting those checks.

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