Here come the baked goods...

It's hard enough to stick to your diet on normal days. But throw in working in an office obsessed with sharing goodies combined with the holidays, and you pretty much get a dieter's nightmare.

I've been good so far, taking a bite or a slice only here and there, but I have a feeling my willpower might wilt in the coming week. Yesterday there was chocolate overload in the work kitchen. A giant chocolate trifle cake was delivered to us, and a coworker brought in pounds of different chocolaty greatness as a thank you to us all for our support during his recent illness.

Thankfully I only worked a half day so I didn't have to be around all of it all day, but I did eat a handful of Jordan almonds before I left. I mean, how can you pass those up!?

I was proud that the only thing I wanted from the cake was this plastic reindeer which served as one of the festive toppers. Whenever I look at him--Steph and I have named him Skinny Pete--I will be reminded of my will power and hope its magical powers will help me resist the influx of baked goods that is to come. Also, Skinny Pete has a special place in my heart because he's made of cheap plastic, making him a little rough around the edges and discolored in spots, notably his pasty white legs. He doesn't have a perfect body, just like me. Move over Rudolph, there's a new reject reindeer in town!

Nothing says Christmas like some cookies

Embracing the holiday spirit has had me obsessed with the idea of making sugar cut-out cookies just like I've always made with my family. It was our tradition growing up, and as we've gotten older, I still insist on making them when I come home. My mom and dad (although I think he secretly enjoyed it) humored me and come Christmas we'd be stuck with dozens of sugar cookies coated in sprinkles that no one wanted to eat. They never have a chance next to the peppermint bark and chocolate magic cookies my mom makes.

Anyways, I convinced my friend Greg to make them with me this weekend. So on Sunday, after the Patriots game, I schlepped over to his apartment and we had at it. I got stuck with the job of rolling the dough (although in this case all we had was the smooth end of a mallet--my hand was killing me from the pointy side pressing against my hand) and cutting out the festive shapes. The entire time, I thought about how my parents got stuck with these same jobs every year, leaving us kids the fun part of decorating them, which we would tire of and quit halfway through, leaving them more to do.

By the time we were finished, we had 6 dozen cookies and, per tradition, no one to eat them. I had a few (and even more of the raw dough.. whoops!) but I just really wanted to make them more than I ever wanted to eat them. Looks like I'll be giving them away as some early Christmas presents! Except my traditional "Kim" cookie... which I always make with the leftover dough and slash my name in it with a butter knife and cover with sprinkles. I'll be eating that.

Special thanks to Greg for amusing me and to my Mom and Dad for putting up with us all those years in the name of tradition. And Mom, you're off the hook this year :)

Ho- Ho- Holidays!

The weekend after Thanksgiving was filled with holiday fun!

It started with my ride home from work on Friday--I hopped aboard the CTA Holiday Train. The festive El train is decked out in lights, regular seats are replaced with Santa seat covers, Christmas music plays over the intercom and there were even elves handing out candy canes as you entered the train cars. Santa was even along for the ride in the open platform in the middle of the "Santa Express." This is one of my favorite things in Chicago and I was so glad I got to ride it again this year (I missed it last year).

On Saturday morning (Dec. 3), I woke up to pouring, freezing rain for the Santa Hustle 5K. Me, Jamie and Corey signed up to run the race in which runners are encouraged to dress up as Santa with the accessories provided in the running packet (a bead, a hat and a long sleeve Santa shirt). Despite the rain and the wind, it was so much fun seeing everyone dressed up and getting to run in the beard and hat (although the beard kept causing hairballs in the mouth) was hilarious and surprisingly not uncomfortable.

To top it off, there were live reindeer at the race and free candy! At Mile 1 they had elves handing out cups of M&Ms and at Mile 2, volunteers offered you cookies. I lost my M&Ms somewhere along the way and was too busy trying to get a personal best time for a 5K that I passed up on the cookies. It was all worth it because I beat my best time by about 20 seconds!

After the race, I headed over to Jamie and Corey's and helped them decorate their tree and bake cookies, all while sipping hot chocolate and Mocha Mint Kahlua (highly recommended by the way!). The night ended on a bright note, as I got to ride the holiday train home.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities opens with this:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way..."

This is how I feel my life has been for the last couple of months, and the reason I haven't written much. Things are work have been so unsure--up then down, I'm in then I'm out, I'll move home but then I'll stick it out. While waiting for a solution to my job and my future beyond my current contract which ends of Dec. 21, the stress in my life has snowballed enough to bring back the anxiety and panic attacks I suffered in January 2009. The uncertainty of my future has put me in a dark, sad place I didn't want to crawl out of because facing reality meant making 15 decisions at once.

My hibernation from reality meant I haven't done anything interesting to post on here, and I didn't want to whine or discuss anything I wasn't even sure was happening or going to happen. The last month or so has been one big question mark.

However, I can safely say now that I am getting close to a decision--and with the budget being approved hopefully this Thursday, I'll know once and for all what and where I will be come 2012. Just in time for the world to end on 12-12-12 (isn't that the new prediction?). Friday cannot come soon enough for me.

However, I haven't been completely dead to the world of fun... Christmas is my favorite time of year and I refused to let my uncertainty and anxiety ruin it for me. I've made sure to do some things to get me in the holiday spirit this year (including watching YouTube videos of my favorite 80s Christmas cartoon classics).

It started with Thanksgiving, which I was forced to spend for the first time ever without my family thanks to greedy airlines and their ticket prices. But I was very thankful for those who offered to adopt me for the day and that I could spend it with the second best thing: one of my best friends Puni, her husband and her family. The Indian cuisine was delicious and it was definitely great to have a different experience, but I did find myself missing my Aunt's sweet potatoes and my Uncle's fancy stuffing and corn casserole. I'm sure next Thanksgiving, if I am home for the holiday, I'll be missing Puni and her mom's Indian rice and chicken!

Living away from home for nearly two and a half years has helped me gain appreciation for many things, and our annual Thanksgiving Gilmore gathering was just another thing to add to the list. I am also finally content that if I do have to move home, I know I have accomplished a lot here and learned a lot about myself, enough where I can fly away knowing I did the best I could while I had this amazing opportunity.

Stay tuned for more posts regarding my crusade for holiday cheer!