Crumb-y Decision

It's come to my attention recently that I haven't been updating anyone on my Adventures in Dieting.

I came to this epiphany by accident really: Five minutes ago I was sitting on my bed picking the last crumbs of broken rice cakes from the bottom of a bag, which I ripped in order to access said crumbs easier. Perhaps in my moment of insanity, and in between brushing stray crumbs and powder off the front of my Bruins t-shirt, I figured these rice cake crumbs couldn't possibly count as part of the allotted serving-- I mean when they say seven rice cakes, it means whole ones, no pieces. Right? No?

Crap... my fingers are starting to stick to the keys. I licked them clean before starting this post.

Since getting back from the road trip and a work trip to Boston at the beginning of April, I've been pretty good about sticking to my 1,400 calorie madness. Except for on my birthday (I enjoyed every drop of that giant margarita). And this past weekend which was an extension of my birthday week (oh Chicago stuffed pizza how I've missed you!).

But other than that, I've been really good! Not counting Monday when I came home from work and immediately shoved a leftover cupcake in my mouth. I immediately threw out the second remaining cupcake before I could eat it. I actually considered taking it out of the trash at one point, but then realized how disgusting that was. I'm sorry, I'm not used to wasting perfectly good desserts all for the sake of a smaller waistline! Probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. RIP chocolate cupcake with fluffy green frosting and sprinkles... my mouth will miss you.

I was raised never to waste food and I've felt guilty ever since I threw out the cupcake and a leftover piece of Gino's pizza that had been calling my name from deep inside the fridge. Hiding it didn't work, so I had to put it where I'd never see it- or be tempted to eat it- again. Thanks a lot Mom and Dad.

In essence, I've had a few slip-ups and allowed myself to give in to a craving once in a while. But overall I'm actually proud of how disciplined I've been and how well I've avoided sweets at lunch meetings and treats hanging out in the work kitchen. Except for a couple jelly beans I ate yesterday.

Last week I actually measured out one cup of pasta. ONE CUP. No wonder I need to lose weight... I was probably eating three servings every time I ate the stuff before. It was sad to see how little I was allowed, but I slowly enjoyed the wheat pasta I had in my bowl. When I stopped to actually taste the stuff, it tasted very different than when I used to twirl it and gulp it down before.

I've also been running a lot more every week. Hopefully my efforts are paying off-- I haven't stepped on the scale in over a week because the last time I did the number hadn't budged even 1/10th of a pound. That got me really frustrated, discouraged and angry. But for once, I didn't turn to food to soothe my feelings.

I guess I am learning. Except for this time, when I just shoved rice cake crumbs into my mouth, messily and quickly before I could get caught. That's why I'm writing it here-- because it's funny now that I think of how pathetic I must have looked and to remind myself of that image every time I think crumbs aren't cheating.

Finding Courage in Vodka... But Not the Way You Think

Now that I'm finished grad school, everyone and their mother (mine included) keeps asking what I'm going to do next. This is an extremely daunting and overwhelming question to which I don't have an answer.

Should I stay or should I go? I've been pretty homesick lately and for the first time since I moved to Chicago, I've actually considered returning to New England. What do I want to do now? I have no idea. I thought journalism was what I always wanted to do, but after getting my Master's in the subject, I'm not so sure anymore. Hey, at least I got it out of my system and won't always wonder "what if" right? (that's at least what I keep telling myself).

Anyway, for now I'll keep working at my internship and putting off updating my resume until reality hits me and knocks me over. Which I'm assuming will be any day now. And having fun, which brings me to my next thought:

Forget journalism... I want to be a bartender!

This weekend, my friend Terron was hosting a charity event at my favorite local bar and he needed a couple people to help bartend. I didn't have any plans, so I volunteered my services knowing he would do the same for me if I ever needed his help. I was really excited but at the same time also very nervous. All I had to do was deal with beer, shots and vodka drinks but before Saturday, I had never mixed a drink for anyone other than myself and I clearly wouldn't be able to taste-test the vodka drinks I made before handing them over to the paying customers. Yikes.

Luckily, the night went smoothly and I did a-OK. I actually had such a good time bartending that I seriously want to consider finding a gig for some part-time/ extra cash. It was so much fun socializing with people. It was like going out for the night and meeting tons of new people but making money at the same time (I gave half of what I made back to Terron and spent the rest of drinks and food after my shift was over). Some guy told me I made the best shot he's ever had in his life-- he might have been a little drunk seeing it was just berry vodka and a splash of cranberry-- a shot he named the "Kimberly," but either way it was a great confidence booster!

Helping a friend and enjoying a new activity saved me from the sadness/homesick funk I had going on last week. I realized that when I get sad I want to run back to what's safe and to things I know (hence looking for jobs in Massachusetts). However, exploring new things and taking on new challenges like this one reminded me what life is all about. I'm happiest here when I'm trying new things and I think I've forgotten that as I've developed a routine and settled in more.

Back in September 2009 I wrote a post on how I found inspiration and courage to take a risk thanks to a magnet on my fridge bearing an Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "Do something every day that scares you."

The magnet is still there, and so is my courage. I just have to find it again.

An Apple a Day Keeps Hunger Away

Last week was National Volunteer Week. In light of this, and the fact that the foundation gives employees paid "service days" to spend volunteering, I joined a few of my coworkers last Tuesday to volunteer for a United Way project at the Greater Chicago Food Depository.

During our orientation period, the project coordinator told us that the hunger rate is so high, they serve the equivalent of one in every eight people in Cook County. I looked around at my coworkers--there were nine of us--and I said "that's one of us." It's really a scary thought to think there are that many people starving in this county. Needless to say, now whenever I think I'm starving because of this diet, I remind myself that it's a self-imposed diet and not a case in which I just have no means to eat.

In the three hours we were there, we packed 21,000 pounds of apples into boxes that will be distributed to families and food banks across the city. While we packed, I kept repeating the phrase "How do you like them apples?" about every 20 minutes and am pretty sure I won't be able to eat a red apple for at least a few months after spending so much time with them on Tuesday. As we packed the apples into empty banana boxes for easy transport, we found some leftover banana stragglers. By the time we were done we collected nearly an entire box full of them! That's me trying to lift it... it was heavy! I wonder what they did with all those bananas....

It's here!

It's been a while since I've written on here... now that I'm done with school I have no legitimate excuse other than pure laziness. Speaking of school...

Last Monday, I had to work in the suburbs that day and spent some more quality to time with my friends Thanksgiving and Christmas. When I arrived home from work, there was a thick envelope sitting on my porch. Knowing what it was, I ripped it open (carefully) to find my diploma had arrived! Tangible evidence that I graduated "with distinction" (that's all I get for a 3.9 GPA?). It's about as thin and the same size as something that comes out of a laser printer, but once I put it in a nice frame it will look nicer for sure. The most expensive piece of wall art I will ever own!

Someday in the very near future I will organize that diploma pub crawl I mentioned, but for now I guess I should focus my efforts on things like job hunting and my crazy diet.