Now that I’m officially 30, I found that it is high time I
start acting my age. Which is why I
decided to do a water aerobics class at the gym on Saturday.
Kidding.
I did the class because my injured
back continues to permit me from doing any other exercise. This would be my
first real workout activity other than walking on the treadmill in more than a month,
which I celebrated as a victory.
I brought a friend with me as a metaphorical flotation
device—maybe it’s a girl thing, or a me thing, but when I try something new and
unfamiliar for the first time, I like to have someone there with me so we can
support each other, a.k.a. laugh at each other or curse the instructor under
our breaths.
Now, water aerobics classes have a certain stigma attached
to them — they’re filled with old people, they’re not that hard, etc. Well, I am here to tell you that everything
you’ve heard about water aerobics is true:
· * I am pretty sure we were the youngest in the
class… by at least 30 years.
· * It was filled with older women (one woman was
serious… she had hand wraps) and a few hairy old men.
· * Every time the instructor announced the next
exercise, a choir of groans echoed throughout the pool. The groans got even louder when she announced
that we’d be doing said exercise for 45 seconds… apparently that is WAY too
long. When we had to do one for a minute, some woman exclaimed that this was
the longest minute of her life.
· * At one point the instructor got so irritated
that people weren’t following the proper instructions or taking the class
seriously, she slammed a water noodle on the floor and yelled at us. Honestly, if I was the instructor I’d be
annoyed, too. The old ladies seemed to
use this time as a social hour in the pool rather than a serious workout.
The class wasn’t too bad until we had to do an exercise
where, while straddling our water noodles, we had to grab on to the back of
someone else’s noodle and form a chain. Not
only did I feel like a 10-year-old, but I was forced to partner with one of the
hairy old men – let’s just say I grabbed back hair before his noodle. That is the moment I mentally checked out of class
and vowed never to return.
To be fair, I didn’t put in 100 percent effort because
I didn’t exactly get permission from my physical therapist to do this class. So
maybe it is a really good workout, I just didn't get to experience it this time. I’ve
also never really been a fan of over-chlorinated pools filled with
strangers.
And most importantly, I really miss running. I think I’ll
stick to walking on the treadmill – my water aerobics class days are over. At least for the next couple decades.
