Crumb-y Decision

It's come to my attention recently that I haven't been updating anyone on my Adventures in Dieting.

I came to this epiphany by accident really: Five minutes ago I was sitting on my bed picking the last crumbs of broken rice cakes from the bottom of a bag, which I ripped in order to access said crumbs easier. Perhaps in my moment of insanity, and in between brushing stray crumbs and powder off the front of my Bruins t-shirt, I figured these rice cake crumbs couldn't possibly count as part of the allotted serving-- I mean when they say seven rice cakes, it means whole ones, no pieces. Right? No?

Crap... my fingers are starting to stick to the keys. I licked them clean before starting this post.

Since getting back from the road trip and a work trip to Boston at the beginning of April, I've been pretty good about sticking to my 1,400 calorie madness. Except for on my birthday (I enjoyed every drop of that giant margarita). And this past weekend which was an extension of my birthday week (oh Chicago stuffed pizza how I've missed you!).

But other than that, I've been really good! Not counting Monday when I came home from work and immediately shoved a leftover cupcake in my mouth. I immediately threw out the second remaining cupcake before I could eat it. I actually considered taking it out of the trash at one point, but then realized how disgusting that was. I'm sorry, I'm not used to wasting perfectly good desserts all for the sake of a smaller waistline! Probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. RIP chocolate cupcake with fluffy green frosting and sprinkles... my mouth will miss you.

I was raised never to waste food and I've felt guilty ever since I threw out the cupcake and a leftover piece of Gino's pizza that had been calling my name from deep inside the fridge. Hiding it didn't work, so I had to put it where I'd never see it- or be tempted to eat it- again. Thanks a lot Mom and Dad.

In essence, I've had a few slip-ups and allowed myself to give in to a craving once in a while. But overall I'm actually proud of how disciplined I've been and how well I've avoided sweets at lunch meetings and treats hanging out in the work kitchen. Except for a couple jelly beans I ate yesterday.

Last week I actually measured out one cup of pasta. ONE CUP. No wonder I need to lose weight... I was probably eating three servings every time I ate the stuff before. It was sad to see how little I was allowed, but I slowly enjoyed the wheat pasta I had in my bowl. When I stopped to actually taste the stuff, it tasted very different than when I used to twirl it and gulp it down before.

I've also been running a lot more every week. Hopefully my efforts are paying off-- I haven't stepped on the scale in over a week because the last time I did the number hadn't budged even 1/10th of a pound. That got me really frustrated, discouraged and angry. But for once, I didn't turn to food to soothe my feelings.

I guess I am learning. Except for this time, when I just shoved rice cake crumbs into my mouth, messily and quickly before I could get caught. That's why I'm writing it here-- because it's funny now that I think of how pathetic I must have looked and to remind myself of that image every time I think crumbs aren't cheating.