Finding Courage in Vodka... But Not the Way You Think

Now that I'm finished grad school, everyone and their mother (mine included) keeps asking what I'm going to do next. This is an extremely daunting and overwhelming question to which I don't have an answer.

Should I stay or should I go? I've been pretty homesick lately and for the first time since I moved to Chicago, I've actually considered returning to New England. What do I want to do now? I have no idea. I thought journalism was what I always wanted to do, but after getting my Master's in the subject, I'm not so sure anymore. Hey, at least I got it out of my system and won't always wonder "what if" right? (that's at least what I keep telling myself).

Anyway, for now I'll keep working at my internship and putting off updating my resume until reality hits me and knocks me over. Which I'm assuming will be any day now. And having fun, which brings me to my next thought:

Forget journalism... I want to be a bartender!

This weekend, my friend Terron was hosting a charity event at my favorite local bar and he needed a couple people to help bartend. I didn't have any plans, so I volunteered my services knowing he would do the same for me if I ever needed his help. I was really excited but at the same time also very nervous. All I had to do was deal with beer, shots and vodka drinks but before Saturday, I had never mixed a drink for anyone other than myself and I clearly wouldn't be able to taste-test the vodka drinks I made before handing them over to the paying customers. Yikes.

Luckily, the night went smoothly and I did a-OK. I actually had such a good time bartending that I seriously want to consider finding a gig for some part-time/ extra cash. It was so much fun socializing with people. It was like going out for the night and meeting tons of new people but making money at the same time (I gave half of what I made back to Terron and spent the rest of drinks and food after my shift was over). Some guy told me I made the best shot he's ever had in his life-- he might have been a little drunk seeing it was just berry vodka and a splash of cranberry-- a shot he named the "Kimberly," but either way it was a great confidence booster!

Helping a friend and enjoying a new activity saved me from the sadness/homesick funk I had going on last week. I realized that when I get sad I want to run back to what's safe and to things I know (hence looking for jobs in Massachusetts). However, exploring new things and taking on new challenges like this one reminded me what life is all about. I'm happiest here when I'm trying new things and I think I've forgotten that as I've developed a routine and settled in more.

Back in September 2009 I wrote a post on how I found inspiration and courage to take a risk thanks to a magnet on my fridge bearing an Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "Do something every day that scares you."

The magnet is still there, and so is my courage. I just have to find it again.