Diets Are Not Your Friend

I’ve learned the hard way that there is no fine print, no exceptions and no buts about a diet. I’ve been stuck at the same weight for three weeks and it’s because I’ve been too picky—not too selective, but the unfortunate opposite: I’ve been picking at food here and there without counting it. Those undocumented calories add up and in return nothing has been subtracted from the number on the scale.

*Diets don’t care that you’re on vacation or if your parents are in town. You can’t take a long weekend off to feast on local delicacies. You can however enjoy some treats in moderation only IF you pay a visit to the hotel gym in the morning.

*Diets don’t care if you are faced with an all-you-can-eat-and-drink buffet—one filled with ballpark food, an extravagant spread of awesomeness and a dessert/ ice cream bar. Just because it is free, doesn’t mean you get to make the most of it.

*Diets don’t care that your favorite sports team is in the playoffs or if you’re celebrating a Stanley Cup with $4 vodka drinks and shots of whiskey. There’s also no room for those bar French fries you’ve been picking at throughout the night.

*Diets also don't care that you graduated with your Master's degree and that you think you deserve a cupcake as a reward for all of your hard work. Diets are also hard work, it's just too bad that you can't ever graduate from them.

*Diets don’t care if you had a bad day and find solace in an extra scoop of ice cream or an overflowing serving of Lucky Charms. If you don’t measure out your servings exactly instead of approximately, you’ll be found out on weigh-in day. It's apparently a plain and simple equation: extra servings=extra calories=extra inches on your waist.

*Diets also don't care if you are suffering from an increased appetite due to PMS and hormones or from a lack of sleep. Just like the saying "the heart wants what it wants," so does the stomach, especially during these times. Except the stomach can't have it.

If you forget any of this, your waistline will remind you of it later. A diet never forgets. And you shouldn’t either. No exceptions.