It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities opens with this:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way..."

This is how I feel my life has been for the last couple of months, and the reason I haven't written much. Things are work have been so unsure--up then down, I'm in then I'm out, I'll move home but then I'll stick it out. While waiting for a solution to my job and my future beyond my current contract which ends of Dec. 21, the stress in my life has snowballed enough to bring back the anxiety and panic attacks I suffered in January 2009. The uncertainty of my future has put me in a dark, sad place I didn't want to crawl out of because facing reality meant making 15 decisions at once.

My hibernation from reality meant I haven't done anything interesting to post on here, and I didn't want to whine or discuss anything I wasn't even sure was happening or going to happen. The last month or so has been one big question mark.

However, I can safely say now that I am getting close to a decision--and with the budget being approved hopefully this Thursday, I'll know once and for all what and where I will be come 2012. Just in time for the world to end on 12-12-12 (isn't that the new prediction?). Friday cannot come soon enough for me.

However, I haven't been completely dead to the world of fun... Christmas is my favorite time of year and I refused to let my uncertainty and anxiety ruin it for me. I've made sure to do some things to get me in the holiday spirit this year (including watching YouTube videos of my favorite 80s Christmas cartoon classics).

It started with Thanksgiving, which I was forced to spend for the first time ever without my family thanks to greedy airlines and their ticket prices. But I was very thankful for those who offered to adopt me for the day and that I could spend it with the second best thing: one of my best friends Puni, her husband and her family. The Indian cuisine was delicious and it was definitely great to have a different experience, but I did find myself missing my Aunt's sweet potatoes and my Uncle's fancy stuffing and corn casserole. I'm sure next Thanksgiving, if I am home for the holiday, I'll be missing Puni and her mom's Indian rice and chicken!

Living away from home for nearly two and a half years has helped me gain appreciation for many things, and our annual Thanksgiving Gilmore gathering was just another thing to add to the list. I am also finally content that if I do have to move home, I know I have accomplished a lot here and learned a lot about myself, enough where I can fly away knowing I did the best I could while I had this amazing opportunity.

Stay tuned for more posts regarding my crusade for holiday cheer!