Goodbye, Cubs

When I first moved to Chicago, I thought I would become a Cubs fan. I figured they could be my NL team because they seemed to have many historical and years-of-suffering parallels as Boston. I bought into the idea, sporting my Cubs cap around town and cheering them on in good times, empathizing with them during the bad. And how do they repay me? Like a bad, ungrateful friend, they've stolen my man.

For the past few weeks, all I have heard about is how Theo Epstein is leaving Boston for the Cubs. As a Red Sox fan living in Chicago, I feel like I've just been dumped and now have to watch Theo flaunt his new relationship in my face every day. And worse, in an organization of fans that doesn't understand what they've got and how lucky they are-- where most fans and media outlets are spending more time focused on his looks than what he can bring to their team. While Theo is classic New England, Boston-boy handsome (which as Midwesterners they don't understand), it's his brains that make him even more attractive. It's what's on the inside that counts... isn't that one of the cardinal rules of dating?

Like the end of any relationship, one person is always left with the baggage--anger, hurt, sadness and a whole lot of mess to work through. Most Red Sox fans haven't even had the chance to mourn Theo's departure amid the loss of Terry Francona and Beergate (what I'm fondly referring to as the Sox pitchers who allegedly drank beer and ate fried chicken in the clubhouse). When it rains it pours, and now we have to weather this storm alone. No offense to the new GM, but he doesn't know us like Theo did. He couldn't possibly know how to make us feel better.

As soon as I'm over the shock phase of this break-up, I will stop acting like a woman scorned and take time to reflect on all the good times we had together. Thanks for a great 10 years and two World Series championships, Theo. And for looking so damn good while doing it.

The dumped usually close this chapter of their lives by wishing the other well (whether they mean it or not). I hope Theo will be happy with his new team. All I have to say to Cubs fans is that you better treat him right and respect him, because you've just been given then best thing that's happened to you in years. Oh yeah, and our friendship is over.