What I love about fantasy football, besides the fact that it is a much longer season than Christmas even despite the shopping industry’s attempts to start the holiday season in October, is that it allows me to be a part of the sport I love to watch. I can participate in the season by creating my own Dream Team of players across the league. Which got me thinking-- what if dating was as great and as easy as managing a fantasy football team?
My fantasy football team is like the perfect man—I get what I need from several different players and each one fulfills a different role. I have my defense to protect me, my quarterback to take charge and call the shots, my wide receiver to make big plays, my tight end to be there when I need him, and my running back who works hard to eke out every inch he can on important plays.No guy is perfect, we know this, and unless one is a man and lives in Utah, this fantasy of multiple people to fill different roles will never be a reality. However, there are a few lessons fantasy football can teach us about dating.
Fantasy football makes me an equal opportunity football lover—on one of my fantasy teams, I have three people from my most hated NFL team, the J-E-T-S. On one of the others, I have a mini Patriots squad of Wes Welker, Law Firm, Deion Branch, Chad Ochocinco, Stephen Gostkoswki and the New England defense (I haven’t been this much of a homer since my first fantasy team in 2001, when my hockey team consisted of 98% Bruins players and in turn finished in last place). When it comes to dating, I have a specific type. Perhaps if I forced myself to branch out, I might come up with a winner.
If you don’t like how a player acts from week to week, you can bench him. Sometimes we all just need a little break. No one can be perfect 100 percent of the time, every time (well, except Tom Brady). We have off weeks (I’m looking at you LaDanian Tomlinson and Antonio Gates) and awesome weeks (Tony Gonzalez). Just think, have you ever seen a child between the age of 2 and 5 who hasn't drastically improved his or her behavior after a timeout?
Like fantasy football, relationships require patience. Benching a player is fine, but don’t jump the gun and surf the waiver wire and drop said player like last week’s news. Again, we all have off weeks. If poor performance persists for consecutive weeks, then you can consider dumping said player. If you give up on him too soon and set him free, you might kick yourself when he has a big game the next week.
Fantasy teams are investments that take time and commitment. Why is it that some people avoid commitments like relationships as if they were the plague, but will pay money to be included in a fantasy football league? Like fantasy football, relationships can be a blast and a lot of fun. Also like fantasy football, they require effort. Every morning I monitor my team to see who’s been injured, surf the wires (see previous lesson before doing so), and adjust lineups accordingly. Don’t tell my boss, but I’m pretty sure this takes up the first 20 minutes of my morning each day--about the same time I would require a boyfriend to spend asking how my day way in a nice phone call.
In fantasy football, you can juggle multiple teams. However, doing so in real life leads to getting caught in lies and perhaps blowing your cover by repeating the wrong story to the wrong person. With multiple fantasy teams, you can forget who is on which team and end up unnecessarily rooting for someone you hate or worse, a player on your opponent’s team. Believe me, I wouldn't root for Mark Sanchez if I didn't have to, but accidentally cheering for Santonio Holmes because I can't keep track of my teams? Travesty. Despite this lesson, I will continue to keep all three of my teams each year. After a few weeks I usually rule which one I like best anyways and commit to that one for the rest of the season, making me a one-fantasy-team kind of girl.
And most importantly, no matter what… even if you hand-pick your team and do all of the right things and make all of the right moves, life (and injuries) get in the way and you may still end up on the losing end with a broken heart. Or you could be the defending champion of your family league two years in a row and continue dominating in year three. No wonder I like fantasy so much.
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